Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
