this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
In other news, I just burned my penis
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
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