I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Randomize
