Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
We had to coat check the pizza.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Randomize