I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
I want to stick my p in your. b.
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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