I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
my poor anus
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
