Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
he puts the penis in happiness.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
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