Why does Corona taste like a burp?
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
