i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
