the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Couch. On fire.
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