Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize