Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Randomize
