Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Randomize
