ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Randomize
