So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Randomize
