Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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