threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
