Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
