$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
