I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
