when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Randomize
