My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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