please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
