I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Randomize
