Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Randomize
