oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Randomize
