I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
She is in my trunk
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Randomize
