ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
