You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
