fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
