4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
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