So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
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