Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
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