Christians are straight up FREAKS
I didn't shave. On purpose
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
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