She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
