"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Randomize
