Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
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