Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
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