I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
