mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
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