It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
It's rum buckets o'clock
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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