imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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