That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
