Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize