so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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