Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Randomize
