Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
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