1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
