she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
