Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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