At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
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