question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
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