Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
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