I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
