he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
We left an ass print on the piano.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Randomize
