Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
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