You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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