how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
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