turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize
