I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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