Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
