is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
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