Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Randomize
